TheOddTraveler: at the same time...

1990s desktop picture anyone?

Let’s just assume that I am in a plane right now (and I am in a way;-) because I am going to start way up there with a text I wrote walking back “home”:

Guardians...

“When I listen to music, walking under the sky I hear the gods speaking to my soul, touching ever so slightly my heart with the tips of their fingers. Their breath renders my earthly body timeless. I shed love and the wake of torment shake people from their dearest slumber. At that time I am merely but an immaterial vector. The only crystal that remains after dissolution is one of simple pure love.”

Yeah! go Bernd!

Yeah… hehehe

What people say; I am crazy, I am tormented and let’s throw in a compliment: well I don’t have one right now. Anyways I have been told…okay I’ll search for “its”.

yeah no too much rubble.

In a nutshell what I’ll happily express as esteem for the candor of my expression has been “impressing(?)” others. It is very touching, also kind of weird, when I hear that I am sharing very intimate things when for me it appears quite removed from the sweeping strength of emotions I am lucky to experience. Especially that I feel I yet lack the strength to express grand fears (different from phobias), I clearly touch sometimes the moment where I naturally would go to an action and then feel that it could crumble my world. Oddly enough saying that makes the scare shrink incredibly, it gives me the desire to dare. Every scary action that I ever choose to be, simply vanished in a plume of past in front of the disappearing wall of expectations.

Carved stone in site off the path. I felt a presence there, it was strong and wise.

One of my ultimate goals in life is to be able to assume every spoken word and deed ever in front of everybody. Total visibility! to access the very essence of honesty, of truth. So, yeah! Not such a big deal on my part what I share with you (doesn’t mean I do not care about sharing, that I am not touched that you read it or very grateful for your feedback). Heck, I don’t think there must be more than a couple o’ persons in Cusco who know that my mother is the eldest of direct lineage before me, so I am still removed from mastering the total visibility thing.

I don't remember taking this picture and there they are! double faces!

Maybe I should just blurt out in the middle of a silence in front of a table full of people (that I don’t really know) that my father “died” when I was fourteen (odd that I wrote that… I was thirteen). Weirdly I, for if only a fragment of instant, am granted access to the perception of an easy mind set of how this is “very sad”, as I laugh my but off imagining the scene! Hey at least I just spared you that awkward moment when most do not know what to say. Probably because there is not much to say. Although don’t be sorry, it serves no purpose (like fear by the way, winky wink) I am grateful for my life, partly because I get to have the illusion it has a length in time when I can only ever feel the present time (future being imagination and past, memories). I guess that’s the key illusion in our evolution, we get to compare “other selves” with “I am”.

Eerie talking winds in the fields.

Now I really have to become a spiritual master so that I can learn to bilocate, and be with people as the same time I am writing at the same time I am dancing at the same time I am creating music at the same time I am loving at the same time I am touching lives of very dear souls at the same time I am thanking you at the same time I am praying for the greater good at the same time I am enjoying the pleasure at the same time I loose myself at the same same time I am 90% of water at the same time ending is not real.

They were waiting for me as I was taking pictures of the ground

And now I do not know If I should cut this up and do poems, of course not! everything is in its right form and you only ever experience the path opened by your choices. But I am scared to love, maybe that might be the biggest torment. And I found my favorite word yet in espagnol: la tormenta. The storm!!!

Water and time, hand in hand.

Like I already said (and wrote?) Thunder is the best sound in nature after women, this could be a good summary of the fabric that this incarnation is made of.

Each time I push myself and “ose”. (it is a huge word that lacks deeply in the English, it is a word that is courage expressed in verb, far from “try” which is alike “wanting” in the way that it expresses the fact of “not doing”, it takes the very space open for “it happens”) So when I “dare” (closest word but has somehow a taste of arrogance) to express such things it grows me so much! I just get the feeling it needs to express even more as life becomes so grand. For the sole limits of your existence are set by your beliefs and none other (the beliefs of others are nonetheless accepted by us at one point or another, nothing ever escapes the grasp of our choices.)

And I find myself in a space where I might be swept away from the terrible strength of my feelings, where I must find a way to most effectively share and I am laughing for I realise that I have not been composing music for long. As much as it fades and breathes, The composition, Creation regulates energies. And the twisted side of “I” saddens at the thought many do not even contemplate creating. Yet that is unimportant as best. For every body can drastically change at any moment. Even more simply, can lightly start the path to essence of creation. And thankfulness swoops down and cradles me in the ever warmest tear of joy. As it is very much real and possible that every soldier could simply stop and war would be over. Hey I just remembered an idea for a short story. (guess what it is!) I think it was the one I was specifically looking for! Yay, creation: 1 nothing else: 0.